Self-Defense Lessons at the Intersection of Mindfulness and Salad

A brief word of warning: The content of this blog entry represents a special kind of realization for me. For just the other night, the actual culmination of my decades of martial arts training came down to a few simple moments in the kitchen with my daughter — when a number of "radical" approaches to "self-defense" suddenly united in harmony.

You see, for a few years now, I've been writing about how self-defense is more than physical — more than blocking and punching and repeating forms on the training deck. Now, all of that is important, of course. I still do a lot of punching and kicking every week. But I've said a number of times and in a thousand different ways now, that the aspects of meaningful self defense also necessarily include the quality of our diet and our relationships, our level of mindfulness, and our ability to create spontaneously and joyfully in response to our environment.

So what happened in the kitchen? Well, the other night, my warrior's response to the age old question "What's for dinner?" Came down to this: Make salad. Consciously. With whatever materials are at hand. Do it with maximum creativity and fun, and use it as an opportunity to TEACH.

So with no real plans for what I would be making for a meal, I rummaged through the fridge and pulled out everything I could find that was edible, live, and colorful. I spread the materials (a yellow pepper, blueberries, strawberries, an apple, grapes, and salad greens) — along with some almonds and some cold leftover rotisserie chicken — out on the counter, and I asked my daughter Ava to help me prepare a meal. Not really knowing what to expect or what exactly was about to happen, I grabbed my camera:



In about ten wonderful minutes, I taught my daughter a quick lesson on healthy eating. I also taught her — she's not quite five years old, mind you — how to safely handle a 10-inch kitchen knife. (This, required a lot of patience, and a great deal of trust!)

We playfully chatted about the different colors and textures and origins of all the foods on the counter, sampling and savoring each individual ingredient before tastefully arranging it on the plate. In the end, we ate good, healthy food. We spent quality time together, working as a team. We both learned a few things. We had fun. We created ART.

Which one of us was the student that night? Who was the teacher? Somehow our usual roles got reversed. My opportunity to teach turned out to be an opportunity to LEARN. In the end, I think I learned more in 10 minutes about life, love, and being in the moment than I have in a long, long time. And now, I'm looking forward to my next lesson. And the one after that. (And the one after that...)

And someday, maybe I'll teach Ava how to punch and kick!

Sensei Jason Gould
Emerald Necklace Martial Arts
http://www.karateinboston.com/

The Price of a Beer in Boston

Weapons are tools of bad omen,
By gentlemen not to be used;
But when it cannot be avoided,
They use them with calm and restraint.
Even in victory's hour
These tools are unlovely to see;
For those who admire them truly
Are men who in murder delight.

— From the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu

As last call was sounded at the Six House bar in South Boston last Sunday morning, someone spilled a drink. A few moments later, 26-year-old Adam Rich paid for it with his life.

As reported in the news, Rich was stabbed to death during a confrontation that was apparently sparked by a spilled beer. A friend of Rich's was also stabbed three times during the assault. He survived, but Adam Rich's life is over. His family is devastated. The life of Rich's alleged attacker, 38-year-old Bernard Piscopo, is forever ruined, too: I'm sure he didn't head out to the bar that evening thinking, "I'm gonna kill a man tonight." But somehow, that's how things seem to have turned out. And now, he's facing murder charges. It's a shame.

For heaven's sake, when did beer get so expensive?

The lesson for martial artists — for all of us — is clear: knives are dangerous and deadly. It's best to never use them (as Lao Tzu advised), or face anyone who has one. I hope that my students are paying attention — especially my intermediate-level students, because I'm currently introducing them to knife attack techniques and defenses. Defensively, I teach my students how to move against a knife-wielding opponent, how to protect their vital areas, how to disarm someone wielding a blade, to be aware of one's surroundings, and — above all — to always, always, ALWAYS keep an eye on the knife. Offensively, I teach my students the various ways to grip a knife, along with knife strategies, tactics, and the vulnerable points for attack. We train with serious intent, but with rubber knives, padded floors, and a collaborative training environment, I sometimes wonder if I'm really getting through to them. Perhaps this incident will help to drive my point home. (Yes, pun intended.)

Do I have your attention now?

The reality is that knives are everywhere. I carry a pocket knife myself. It's convenient. I'm almost never without it. After all, you never know when you're going to need to slice open an envelope, open a stubborn package, or cut a piece of rope. And, being a folding knife with a single-edged blade that's under two-and-a-half inches in overall length, my knife is perfectly legal to carry. (For those of you who are interested, the Boston ordinance on the carrying of knives can be found here.)

In my classes, I cover the principles of using deadly force in self-defense situations. I stress to my students that they should get away from a dangerous situation if they can. I teach them that nothing they carry in their wallet is worth the risk of being stabbed or shot. And if my students should ever find themselves in a bar at closing time when someone spills a drink, I hope that cooler heads prevail.

Training in the martial arts is supposed to teach us more than just defensive skills — everyone knows this. As we train, we're also expected to learn about martial virtue. Respect, Compassion, and Discipline top the list of things that we study to help keep us balanced, calm, and under control. We are taught about the fragility of the human body in the hopes that we'll come to understand and appreciate the precious value of a human life. These are the lessons that we must carry outside the dojo walls. Everyone needs to learn these lessons, whether or not they train in the martial arts!

We teach peace and stress nonviolence in my dojo. I proudly walk this talk: lately, I've been studying mindfulness techniques and practicing nonviolent communication. I want my dojo to be known as a center building for life skills, a place for peace education. But still, if push ever came to shove, and if all other options were exhausted, I know that because of my martial arts training, I'm physically and mentally ready to use my knife to protect myself or my family. It's quite a paradox, really. I struggle with it all the time.

This week, a man's life has been exchanged for the cost of a draft beer, an apology, and a trip to the dry-cleaners. Earlier I asked, "When did beer get so expensive?" But the real question is this: "When did life get so cheap?"

New Year, New Beginnings

So, it's that time of the year when we all start thinking about how to improve our lives. I have many goals that I'd like to see come to pass in the next 12 months, but I think I can sum it all up by saying that I'd like to become a more inspired, involved, socially conscious, informed, contributing, inspirational, compassionate, fully-functioning human being, community servant, and global citizen. In short, my goal is to transform my life into a work of art!

Sounds a whole lot better than "I resolve to be a better person", doesn't it?

I know that this journey will have physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual challenges... I'm looking forward to them all!

I run Emerald Necklace Martial Arts, a small karate school in Boston, and I want to challenge my students to be and do more than they think is possible. I expect them to train hard, play hard, and stretch themselves in entirely new ways by thinking in new ways, taking bold actions, and daring to grow in new directions. To do this, I need to set an example to follow. I don't promise that I'll always be a perfect role model, but I'll do my best!

And, I'm a new father of a beautiful baby girl named Ava, so I'm rapidly learning to be a better husband and father, too! BALANCE and PRIORITIES are quickly becoming the two most important words in my life!

Everyone warned me that being a parent would change my life forever... they were absolutely right! It's amazing how quickly an infant can disarm you and make you worry about things like nuclear proliferation, global warming, grafitti, and the potential negative effects of bio-engineered foods... As a martial artist, I see that I need to totally rewrite my personal definition of self-defense to include these new "threats" to my family, my environment, and me.

Let the adventure begin!